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• (586): View more from Michigan

  But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist

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• (209): View more from California

  Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Who in tha hell do u hang out with?

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze

  (713): View more from Texas

  My liver has a boner

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.

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• (914): View more from New York

  You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...

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