At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
