That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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