remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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