i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
