Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
