Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
