my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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