ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
