Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
