Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
