also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
