I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I wear drunk well.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
