it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
