I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
