I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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