Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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