I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
