someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize
