I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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