Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
