the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
