Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
