All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
