I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
