if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
