i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
