Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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