matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just tell him i said nine months
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
