Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
