plz talk dirty to me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
