dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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