You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
