Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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