the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Randomize
