my phone needs a breathalizer
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
