so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
