If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
