I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
