her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
