Fine. I'll sleep in my office
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
