Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
