I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
