Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
