It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
