i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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