I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
