Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
