She said her name was "party"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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