a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
